Scalped!

Beer pong last night didn't manifest as one of the staff broke the table last week, so beer Olympics were off. Instead my night in ended with a night out at a local called the Double Duce, where the nightly  shenanigans are karaoke and riding a mechanical bull.. 

I did neither and decided to spend my time smoking fags and looking shy and mysterious. Amy almost made an appearance and there were musings about me going up and doing a Jay-Z track (Amy's idea).. Thankfully my Jedi force was strong and talks of me doing a rendition of Big Pimpin was quashed by my better judgment. Sooo... I'm outside smoking and I hear the Proclaimers blaring on the karaoke... Immediately my Spidey senses know who was behind the chanting... It was Glasgows finest, my wee Tijuana, 3 amigos...

Take it to the bridge boys... 

Da da da!,, da da da...! Da da de di dum de da da da da da da......(trying to do Proclaimers, I would walk 500 miles. Bear with me)

Unfortunately when they turned the mike towards the crowd they didn't get anyone singing back. I helped as much as I could but unless you are singing about an R&B love triangle over here, they don't want to know... Boys did good but tartan army music doesn't wash on these shores. They were later joined by a bloke in a green face suit and mask (far left) - WTF!

They were pretty freaked out by him (horses mouth). Later green man did a solo karaoke version of that REALLY annoying  song "I'm blue"... Oh the irony had us high five-ing and cuckling for days....

So next day I decided to have my barnet cut as it looks so dry it looks like I've been brushing it with a toffee apple (not my gag, nicked it from Deano... more of my beloved Glasgow banter).

Where do I start? Oh I know, let's start at me walking in asking for my split ends to be trimmed and reluctantly agreeing to an inch being cut. She showed me with her fingers, her version of an inch - I agreed. So 2 hours and 4 inches later and I'm fuming. I walk out there looking like Anthia fucking Turner! No layers I said - so she gave me layers. Not short I said, at this point she must have turned her hearing aid off... I look older than what I went in. 

I look like a right C U next Tuesday. Soooo not rock n roll! But in the States this hair is acceptable. Hate it, so I may need something drastic! I need an edgy cool hairdresser! +Conrad Andrews, where are you when I need u (deep sigh..) Ihateamericanhairdressers.fucking.com