Erm... Anyone remember The Young Ones

Well finally here at my work exchange and let's just say I'm totally stretching my comfort zone! Living arrangements are a little more crowded than what I'm used to but going to soldier on regardless....

Well first night I met some of my new colleagues (that term is probably a tad formal in this situation) and everyone is very nice and friendly. As per in these situations it's very multicultural and most people are on the same path. So far so good. 

Well, I decided to head down to Downtown Vegas for dinner with my new roomies and the place they took me to didn't fail to disappoint. It was a place called The Heart Attack Grill and only serves Man v Food style affair 

Basically when you arrive you are weighed as diners weighing in at 350lbs and over eat for free (Alex, you may just qualify). You are then given a hospital gown to wear and are shown to your table by a woman dressed as a hot nurse. The menu boasts on being heart attack friendly and quotes some dangerously high figures in calorie content. 

For those that over stretch themselves and cannot finish their food, a hot nurse administers a spanking with a wooden paddle and let's just say, these women don't hold back on punishment. They literally beat the crap out of your arse until you submit. A sadist wet dream basically.

Having witnessed the punishment I went for the smallest burger, no bacon, no fries (which are cooked in lard may I add) and hold the full fat coke (no diet here my friends)... Totally hilarious - please check it out www.heartattackgrill.com 

Not for the refined diner but an experience! 

My view from my porch

I've also put to use 2 of my leaving gifts:

1) the torch. Thanks Jacq, deb and Lucy

2) my silk worm sleeping bag - 

PJ, I salute u. Nylon sheets a big no no!!

Never blow on a strangers dice...

It's the last day of me time, so I've decided to do a bit of pampering at the spa. Today I will be exfoliated within inch of my life, followed by a renewing facial. As for tonight, not sure.... May do a tiny wee bit of gambling. To be honest, I'm not much of a gambler and find the whole thing a bit boring. Might get the glad rags on and find a high roller and offer to blow on his dice.... (I'm joking mum)... 

1 hour later...

I'm in the spa and this Mexican bird is waiting for a treatment and she's obviously pissed out her brains. Before I went into my treatment she was sitting in the waiting lounge, in her fluffy robe, face down, sparko! 

I'm now out of my first treatment and she's still here complaining that someone has stolen her $1000 dress and is extra pissed as they won't give her a massage as she's too scooped. It's hilarious! She's kicking right off and you know she got her dress from Gap and forgot to put it in the locker. She's just called the manager an ass and a douchebag (love that word) and she's demanding they clothe her - comedy gold! My shoulders are shaking with laughter...

Ok tonight I've been contemplating and just decided on having a curry.. It wasn't bad but not as good as my beloved Mumtaj... I will be crossing off curry venues while I'm here, in search for the don of the Jalfrezi world! 

Ok back to the hotel and I've just realised that we can smoke INDOORS! Funny thing is, I saw a guy smoking a cigar the other day and the penny still didn't drop. I just thought he had a really realistic electronic cigarette but fashioned to look and smell like cigar... What a numb nut eh? 

Having a cheeky drink at the bar but going to head off after this one as the bar man advised that within an hour, men will be flocking round me. I don't think girls have drinks in a bar on their own in the USA unless they are on the prowl or turning tricks... Since I am neither, early one for me tonight as i have a date with HBO.... Adios me amigos! 

Never ending hallways...reminds me of pink floyd the wall movie... 

Following Day...

Up at 9am and decided to catch a few rays as I'm probably the whitest person here.. got a late check out so decided on a bit of R&R by the pool before I head off

It's a hot one today......

Lasted a total of 45 mins in this inferno... No air or breeze. Too much for my delicate Celtic skin! 

Well just heard back from the work exchange and looks like I don't officially start work until Sunday now. Woohoo! They have invited me to tonight's limo tour, so might be up for a bit of cheesy nightlife although clubbing isn't really my thing. Dance music and R&B all night is just wrong. Clubs should play more rock and indie - they'd get a show from me if it was the case. Anyway, might stretch my comfort zone tonight.. Who knows, might be fun! 

They are emailing me over  some orientation exercises, as I need to be an A-Z for new arrivals to the city!  I look forward to the challenge. Bring it!

Luck be a Lady Tonight

Ok, arrived safe and well in Sin City. The heat is tremendous! Probably the hottest weather I've felt since Bangkok but a nasty dry heat - cant complain though! :-) 

My new Indian friends now have my phone/room number haha and they tell me my recommendations and advice have been more helpful than the guide. Lol! Sooo, the guide pipes up about him not making a recommendation because the hotel restaurant prices are too expensive. Advised him its a $18 all you can eat indian buffet - KERPOW my friend!!! He thinks I'm after his job I reckon! You could cut the tension with a knife right now! :-) 

So there were some extra excursions he was trying to sell but I politely declined! I advises him that, tonight I fly solo me amigo! Got myself tics to Cirque Du Soliel for my first night. All about recreation right now as I officially start my work exchange in 2 days. Yikes! Let the good times roll...

4 hrs later....

Just picked up my tics and now sitting in a sushi bar in the Venetian. I know I keep harping on about food but my Dad wants  to know these things and been requesting photos... Lets just say, food is his thing! 

Ok finished at sushi bar and it came to $100 (with tip) - I don't think I've got this backpacker thing sussed... Need to lower my current expectations or ill be spending a grand a week at this rate. Call it a last min splurge... When I'm working, ill be out of holiday mode... Hmmm...

Sin city

A neon Venice.... Not quite St Marks square but it's on the right side of tacky! 

Lions and Tigers and Bears.... Oh my!...

I'm sad to say goodbye to Chris and that little bundle of walking fluff Truman - I swear that dog needs his own Facebook page. Showbiz from head to tail.. I will be seeing my dear friend again mid October as he's meeting me in Sin City for a weekend of hedonistic debauchery! Can't wait! Remember Chris, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

So yesterday I travelled out to Yosemite National Park and saw the wonders of El Capitan and The Great Dome - this place is truly majestic and breathtakingly beautiful. My pics just don't do it justice. Yosamite is also a hotbed for wildlife and is famous for its bears and mountain lions, although I spotted neither (sad face)... Unfortunately due to the season and mild winter, the great waterfalls within the park have all but dried up, so missed out on that but no doubt I will be back! The dried up waterfalls didn't deter our tour guide though, who stuck rigidly to the itinerary and insisted in walking the group to the foot of the dried up waterfall. I thought, nah, keep it mate. Half hour hike up a mountain to look at a dry wall - not for me my friend!. I will meet you crazy cats back at the lodge. I'm off to partake in a feast of cheese, fruit and wine.... 

Mmmmm..... Come to mummy!

The famous El Capitan

A dried up waterfall

A creation of the gods..

So after hours on a packed out coach I reach the town of Fresno. It's a nondescript town with not much going on. I have a couple of drinks in a local bar then head back to the digs for the night, shattered.... Night x

14th August

5.45am wake up call as departing Fresno at 6.45am - too early but slept like a newborn! Feeling fresh my friends! 

Currently on the road. Road signs are telling me we are heading to the Mojave - get in! So, just me and 48 Koreans are heading to the desert. 

It's very early doors but temperatures already hitting 24 and due to get to 38 - good job the coach is like Narnia! 

Useless fact of the day - the Mojave desert doesn't actually have any sand, just loads of dust. Personally I'm hoping to spot some peyote while I'm here. Let the good times roll! 

The start of Mojave Desert... 

Ok, day 2 of my tour and I've made friends with a wee Indian family. Basically they had been badgering the tour guide for recommendations of where to find a decent Indian restaurant. Unfortunately our guide is Korean and doesn't understand the sheer desperation of someone needing a tasty mutton jalfrezi, served with garlic nan and a side order of  sag paneer (just drooled on my keyboard).. In steps Lorraine to the rescue. Fortunately I did some research on the subject (ahem...) as cant go longer than a week without my fix. I wrote a map and directions for Gupta, Sweta and their friends, to which they wanted my email address lol! I can now hear them muttering amongst themselves, passing the map around and my name being used in their conversations. Glad to spread the love to my fellow curry lovers... Tour guide, please take note how its done! 

 

Last day in San Fran...

Last day in San Fran and decided to do a bit of retail therapy as didn't pack enough warm clothes. You think that being in California means that the weather is going to be a scorching blue-skied inferno... Wrong! SF is fucking freezing and I've got a 4 day tour ahead of me, so went out and got some woollies... Needs must and all that jazz!

Currently I'm sitting in the Cheesecake Factory and it is a culinary utopia for all you salad dodgers out there. Too many cakes to choose from - I swear it would make a grown man weep. I might even try persuade Chris to come here for dinner tonight but suspect he is planning a more refined affair! We'll see....

Ordered two starters. Stuffed mushrooms and deep fried macaroni cheese balls. I know my sister just read that and shed a tear... She loves her mac and cheese!

Wow! I'm defeated. Can't even manage a couple of starters so throwing in the towel. Total fromaggio overload! 

Lovely food but a lardy bastard affair... Going to need an angiogram after that snack! Phew! (Jenny & Kathleen - it's right up your street).... I'm outa here....

Ok, tomorrow's tour is a 7.30am start, where I will leave San Fran and head to Yosamite National Park.   

I spend a day in Yosamite and then a night in Fresno... Photos to follow x

Rough as a badgers arse

Amy made an appearance last night.. Little devil that she is. Head is banging, so having a chill out day today.. Spoke to the family on Skype which was nice! Never alone when you have the super information highway!!

Off to eat some Thai food tonight - have to admit, food in San Fran is pretty good. Been to a couple of really nice restaurants so far but feeling that I have to start my running again, as going to be the size of a house at this rate.. For instance, yesterday we went to a place that makes ice cream to order by mixing cream and liquid nitrogen - it was fucking astounding!! Chris and I went into some weird kinda trance when we were eating it....  If ever around these shores, check this place out - smitten! 

Soooo.. Nothing much to report back today but here are some cute pics of Truman to make you go awww.... 

Urban Dictionary, defining the word hobo... Suppose I now fall into this category:

a hobo is an itinerant worker, a career which sprang up during the depression. A hobo, unlike a bum or a tramp, is more than willing to work, but mostly for a short duration, as their main impetus is travel, the love of the journey above the actual destination. A bum is stationary, feeding off of those unfortunate enough to cross his path; a hobo merely travels from town to town, finding work when he can, but only for the sake of financing his next adventure. NEVER call a hobo a bum...they'll kick your sorry no-bo ass!

"When I first started hobo'in, 

I took a freight train to be my friend 

-John Lee Hooker