Achoo...

Sods law!! Little sis touches down in L.A, got my birthday plans and itinerary for the week and only come down with a bug.. Got the sweats, sore throat, running nose and a cough that sounds like I should be entombed in an iron lung - an embarrassing chesty cough that erupts into action as soon as laugh and leaves me purple and out of breath - good times!! I have tried not to let this nasty little critter/bug/infection get to me and for Kathleens sake, i have tried to soldier on, although I am exhausted. 

It's Kathleen's first time in a hostel and I think she liked it. In fact, let me just ask her and I can reiterate in her own words:

Me: Kathleen, what was your impression before you went to the hostel - what were you expecting?

K: ah don't know, em... I don't know, em.. I thought I would be sharing with 40 other people in bunk beds.. Erm, are you writing this down for your blog??

Me: Yes

Me: Did you enjoy staying there? 

K: (embarrassed, she nods head and start eating cold Chinese food)...

Well, that's the end of that convo then. :-)

Well so far we have spent 3 nights in West Hollywood, 2 nights Venice Beach, 1 night Santa Monica and I am now sitting on a bus heading back to Vegas (seriously).. We have 3 nights there before Kathleen heads back to Blighty (sad face)... Been such a good laugh but has just flown in. Highlights so far have been:

1) Both of us being picked on my a comedian at a comedy show and Amy taking offence and telling him that she would "fuck him up".. YIP!!! I was a hares breath from taking the mike off him and asking the audience why you should never steal a Mexicans cheese... To be honest, I think I'm funnier and can do a better job and I think he knew it (famous last words of a heckler).

2) Birthday celebrations at Universal Studios. Funniest part of the day was when we both went to the Haunted House. It was hysterical and really REALLY scary. Kathleen actually run face into a wall trying to get away from a werewolf, then she ran into a woman, head butted her and the woman bit Kathleen's skull on impact. I was absolutely pissing myself.. I got so frightened at one point, I was like laughing/crying/panicking and ran off with only one shoe on - it was so funny but no way I would do that shit again. Terrifying!!

Bates motel with Hooville in the background! Ace!!

This was the backdrop in the King Kong movie

The plane crash in War of the Worlds...

3) Popping out for a "quiet drink" in Venice Beach, then befriending some locals. Flashback include being in some kind of prohibition style club, going back to some birds house and rolling about her floor with her dogs, clubbing at a crazy Halloween night where everyone was in costume, talking to the guy from the movie knocked up (well, Amy thought it was him) and going to bed minging at 6.30am on the day of check out! Here are some snapshots I found on my phone next day...

Victoria Beckham on a bike ride down Venice

One for the money..

Spooky DJ Booth

Erm... Okaaayyy... Can't believe I actually brazenly snapped away at them. Sheesh!!

4) Hiring out a couple of cruisers and biking round Venice and Marina Del Ray, while listening to my sis squealing in delight for being reacquainted with her childhood.

5) And last but not least, my favorite thing of all, is what happened in Vegas...

So far, we have accomplished 2 hangovers out of 7days which is pretty good going. Lets see what Vegas will bring...

Vegas baby

So I show Kathleen how to play the slots and within 20mins I'm over $100 up.. Easy money again! By the end of our trip, I am over $400 up again.. Little sis has had a few flutters and got a few quid. All in all we both up. 

By shear chance we hear that there is a Halloween party at Belagio hosted by (drum roll please)...... Tada!! The one and only Marlyn Manson!! I think I almost passed out and made it my mission to get into this place - if anyone can blag it, its The Lola - So after a few hours of phoning and emailing, I've tracked down the organiser and managed to wangle a table for 2 for the night. He loved my shit and told us not to wait in line, to come to the front and he will take us down to the party. I obviously high fived myself after this little accomplishment, dropped to me knees while doing an air grab! Happy isn't the word.. Now, what to wear?? 

Decided not to go in full costume but just to nail the makeup. I've decided on vampire - not very imaginative but effective. Kathleen is doing half face skeleton... Good times!

The finished results look a bit like this:

The gig itself. We are VIP!! Yay!! We have a bouncer

We met so many people and Kathleen was being chatted up by the drummer from Pantera. I didn't realise until the next day who he was. I just thought he was a random bloke dressed up to look like Lemmy 

Vinnie Paul from Pantera

Lemmy - uncanny eh??

After Kathleen leaves, it's time for me to leave the USA and head to Panama. My friend Shane lives in Florida, so I have decided to fly to Panama from there, so I can see him for a few days. Most flights to Panama from LAX connect in Florida, so 2 birds, 1 stone... Looking forward to seeing his face!! 

In the meantime, here is some breaking news from the world of online gaming:

New Call of Duty game to be based on TA

THE new Call of Duty game will focus on the exploits of the Territorial Army, developers have revealed.

Mike must deliver a high impact presentation

In a departure from the usual special forces scenario, players take the role of a part-time soldier whose main job is doing marketing for a bathroom fittings company in Stevenage.

Infinity Ward developer Stephen Malley said: “Our challenge with Call of Duty is to keep each game fresh and different. And you don’t get more different than being a marketing executive called Mike.

“Gameplay accurately mimics Mike’s schedule, with most of your time spent going to meetings and preparing brochures about taps, shower rails and backlit shaving mirrors.

“Key objectives include successful flirtation with female colleagues and convincing Mike’s line manager to let him leave early because he’s got to yomp across Exmoor.

“There’s a also a particularly tough section where Mike has to navigate Spaghetti Junction to get to BathExpo 2013 at Birmingham NEC.

“The military action kicks in at weekends, when Mike attends training camps where he practises marching and goes on field exercises, which culminate in a few pints at a pub.

Gaming journalist Tom Logan said: “The section where you go on a five-mile route march in the Brecon Beacons is so realistic you can practically smell the Savlon you’re putting on a nasty blister.”

Round 2 in Sin City..

Touchdown... Took about 12 hours from when I woke until I arrived back here in Nevada.. First thing I did when I got here was go get myself some proper food. I've been living like a vagrant for the past few weeks and been dining out on the offerings of the local Chevron Gas station, which has been slim pickings to say the least. Tonight I dined on roast chicken, mash potato and a massive bowl of asparagus... I think that is the first bit of veg I've eaten for weeks, not unless you count salsa?? Still sad to say goodbye to the Maui crew and the Bungalow but nothing is forever and I suppose the downside to travelling, is moving on and saying goodbye.... Rolling stone and all that shiz, so can't get too emoshe about it.. 

I found an article on some travel site, about that Hippy Beach in Maui.. Whoevere wrote this obviously takes this beach WAY to seriously. Chill Winston...

"Healing space cleanses the body, mind and will free the spirit.  Located between what once were once sacred Hawaiian heiau/temples dedicated to the ocean and whales this is one of the great beaches of the world.   Aliens from other worlds come to experience the power of spiritual triangulation created by the vortex at Pu'u Ola'i.  The baby island off in the distance, the whale island.. create a unique place on the planet Earth.  The pahu drum opens the portals and send out the message of peace and natural balance at sunset as solstice and the spirit leaves the body. 

Morning yoga on the beach will welcomes the sun god and honors the goddess Pele of the volcano who is mother of Maui.  Surfing is the sport of Hawaiian chiefs.. it is dancing on the waves and being one with nature.. it is the hula of the ocean. Remove all things connected to western civilization beginning with clothes, $150 swimsuits are worth nothing here.. simply swimming naked first time visitors come to understand the first level of Hawaiian healing energy  giving yourself completely to nature... once south Maui was a destination for free thinking organic artistic souls, this is now the last cove as over development and greed, destruction of native culture by American mainlanders who try to make Makena Newport Beach.  Japan lost the war but buys the land and now Chinese will conspire to steal the land of the kanaka and pave paradise so enjoy it while it exists before there is a Taco Bell on the temples.

 

No toilets so do your business at Big Beach at the parking lot.  Pick up your trash and any left behind by less considerate as this is a cradle of the humpback whales and temple of the gods.  

There is a Sunday drum circle naked firedancers and old hippies making for an exotic experience dancing at sunset in the waves. As you leave turn and say Mahalo closing your personal portal of heailng a session of enlightenment and peace.. and respecting natures gift of the Hawaiian gods."

Erm, anyhoo, I've got a king bed tonight and I aim to sleep like a starfish in this air-conned utopia. Tomorrow the lads arrive, so will be firing on full cylinders then.. As for now - Buenos noches me amigos xx

The Eagles Have Landed 

After an amazing nights sleep (about 11 hours, yawn), my amigos have landed and we all meet at Tods pub for lunch, bubbles and chat. It's great to see Chris and Cort again and they have brought their friends James and Ari.. This weekend we are the famous 5 and we plan on tearing up the town in style. James and Ari have already had a head start, so catch up time. We head to the pool for a little bit of R&R, then I decide to go shopping as I've run out of razors and looking like chewbacca... 

First night consisted of dinner at the social house for some pan Asian cuisine. 

Food was fab and consisted of Kobe Gyoza, Lobster Rolls, Rock Shrimp and Cocktails - the lovely and very generous Ari decided to treat us and picked up the tab... Very kind of you sweetie. Thank you. After dinner we headed to the Paris Las Vegas where we had guest list for a club there but Chris, Court and I lost the others. There was a line for the club and I couldn't be arsed at this point, so headed back to the hotel. 

I met Chris later about 3am, we had a flutter on the machines and when I headed off to bed, Chris actually went for a run, to rid himself of alcohol. What a waste of hard-earned cash if you ask me!!. I spend hundreds to feel like that and this kid wants to jog it off? The only thing I was running was a bar tab! 

Sunday

I slept late again (Vegas seems to do this to me) and didn't get to the pool until gone 2pm. The guys were already established ring-side, sunning themselves. I don't really take too well to the sun bathing thing, so decides to head off, get some lunch and meet the guys later for early dinner, as we have tickets to the MJ Cirque Du Soliel show tonight. shamone!!

So before the MJ concert we went to Mon Ami Gabi, for some French fare. It was nice but didn't blow me out the water, although the views where lovely, as we had a table on the balcony and could see not only the bright lights of sin city all around, but the Belagio Water Fountain show was directly across the road..

Not the best photo.. Erm...

I look like im trying to crack the davinci code here!! Ari looks stunning tho.. 

As for MJ... Words can't describe.

 Personally I didnt think I was a big fan until I realised I knew every word, of every song.. It was amazing. It's a Cirque Solieil production but doesn't offer much in the line of acrobatics.. This is a MJ tribute. I don't want to give too much away but at one point they had a hologram of MJ singing man in the mirror and it was interactive with the dancers. To me, that was the highlight, as it looked like MJ was on stage. I actually welled up (I was worried about the kids) ahem..... It was pretty spectacular. So much so, I bought a glove for my good friend, and avid fan Dale Woodman. There is a sequin glove in the post for you my friend and should match that MJ red leather bomber you own:

What a cool night and I don't even want to tell you how large CW pupils where after the show.. So say he had an adrenalin rush is an understastment.. That boy really loves his MJ! 

These are his actual shoes and socks. Weirdly the guy had quite big feet.. Now you think you know someone don't you...

Monday

Well, James and I went to Aureole for dinner tonight and I have to admit, it was the sexiest bit of dining I've had since being in sin city. The restaurant has a five story wine rack, so when you order, you have a beautiful lady in a unitard, bunging up to find your wine - very eneteraining! All in all, this was my favourite food in Vegas. Good ending to a great weekend...

So... Back to L.A to meet my sister and celebrate my birthday.. Let's see what the next week will bring eh?? 

Chow for now me amigos xxx

I've NOT been abducted by aliens..

Currently sitting in Honolulu airport waiting for the flight to Maui. Arranged for the lovely Dre and his adorable dog and surf buddy Lola to escort me to the airport. 

Dre has been so nice and kind and has offered that I contact his friends and family if i go back to San Diego (his home town) if I need somewhere to stay. More proof that there are good genuine people in this world. Thank you so much and I will be sure to Facebook Lola about my travel plans. Happy days xxx

So just surfing the super information highway and having a cheeky wine before I depart...

The skies have been stormy, so I've been a bit nervous about my journey. Dre assured me that even if I crash, I will live, as its only a half hour flight. Got to love eternal optimism! Regardless, the sphincter is in overdrive :-/  

Touch down

Arrived in Maui safe and well and just checked into my hostel where I was told I have a room upgrade. Trust me, this isn't the lap of luxury and an upgrade here is a private room, no aircon, no bathroom, no towels and certainly no toiletries.. All is good so far and already buddied up with a Dubliner called Emma and signed up for the tour tomorrow to Hana. Good times :-) x off to have a shower now and head to the shop for some beers. I've been living too low key while on Oahu and need to break the proverbial seal and have a few cold ones. Night folks x 

The road to Hana

Ive arrived in my new hostel and its pretty cool. Great vibe and they do one free tour every day - you just have to tip the driver. 

So 8am I'm in the van with 11 other people, 1 dressed as Fred Flintstone, 1 dressed at batman. As soon as we headed off, out came the rum and beers. To say I was unprepared is an understatement. I packed a towel, water, hiking boots and a croissant. Everyone else was cigarettes and alcohol! Ive let the side down basically.

Some photos of the Hana region In Maui:

Batman and Fred Flintstone crawling out of the sea:

Oh yeah!

Inside the sea cave. Photos don't do it justice! 

Cliff jumping with Fred and Bruce

The dark destroyer

What a funny funny day... These guys made it for me..

About a week later

I've been so caught up with hanging out at the Bungalow that I've not been keeping tabs on what I've been doing, so ill just list some of the Maui highlights:

Scary spiders

Travelling to Hana - every corner there was either a waterfall, a stunning beach, cliffs, pools, mountains covered in what looks like emerald green velvet. A 12 hour trip and a truely great memory.

Meeting some amazing people at the Bungalow. Personal faves are my little Irish friend Emma, who i hung out with most days, digressing, drinking and putting the world to rights. Our stunning hostess with the mostest Caitlyn, who put up with our drunken antics and was the BEST and bubbliest tour guide. She also said I was her favourite guest at the bungalow (did I mention she's got great taste). Santi our resident pervert and ladies man. He had me laughing almost every day and I appreciated his toilet humour and crazy finger when the other ladies would recoil (it's my dark side) ;-). Caleb for being an absolute fucking legend and kindered spirit - I love yo shit boi! And not forgetting Gemma, my fellow Scottish warrior Princess for the banter.... Too many to mention and you all have made my trip to Maui a great one. So many laughs and I was genuinely sad to leave you all behind. Maybe on my return from South America, I will stop back at the Bungalow but will stay for a month X

The beach party, drinking vodka and staring at the constellations - the night time sky was stunning on this night! I had a hangover but soon cleared the cobwebs away, thanks to Swedish vodka and tropicana. 

The hippy beach - what can I say? This place is fucking weird but in an amazingly jaw dropping way. Lots of old naked hippies dancing to tribal drums - anything goes here and may actually have been the highlight of Maui. Truly spectacular and you can even score space cakes and shrooms, if that's your thing. 

I actually have some video footage but having trouble uploading clips to my blog! I think it's because I'm on an iPad, so will try when I can get my mitts on a P.C.. 

The cheep $1 dollar drinks at Moose's - eh Caitlyn? ;-) 

So, now I'm back in Oahu, sitting in a motel drinking one of those extra large softdrinks you can only buy in the USA - the room is a bit ming, im directly under the flight path and the only thing cheaper than the bedsheets is the toilet paper! Yucky! I am flying back to Vegas in the morning to meet Mr CW and crew.. Can't wait to see this little peach of a man and looking forward to a bit of luxury. King size bed, egyptian cotton sheets, cable TV, oh how i miss you.....

After Vegas I'm going to head to the coast for a bit and hang out for the arrival of my little sister. I swear, words cannot describe how happy I will be to spend 10 days with her. Love that kid!! Not sure how I'm going to spend my time there but seriously thinking about windsurfing? Who knows? Dream Discover Explore! 

I also read some shocking news on fish fingers. This has me worried:

Further Findus controversy as fish revealed not to have fingers

Frozen ready meal provider Findus is under further pressure today after tests showed that their Fish Finger products contained no aquatic digits whatsoever.

The research took place yesterday when someone at home looked on the Internet at photos of a fish and photos of a fish finger.

Lead researcher and Simon Williams, “I’ve looked at dozens of pictures of fish and still not seen a single finger.”

“You never see a picture of a fish waving at the camera, do you?”

“I’m beginning to panic about what I’ve been putting in my mouth all these years – I think we need to be told the truth”

“I bet there’s as much finger in this product as there is beef in one of their Lasagnas. I don’t see how the public can ever trust them again.”

Findus controversy

Many consumers have been left distraught at the news, having failed to learn anything about animal anatomy at school.

Fish finger fan Mike Walsh frantically told us, “Oh Christ, what is it I’ve been eating all these year? Is it a fish penis, is that it? Am I ‘fish gay’ now?”

Food industry experts have been warning the public to be more careful about their product choices in future.

A spokesman for the Food Standards Agency explained, “If you didn’t kill and cook the thing on your plate yourself, rest assured that somewhere an executive in a suit cut a few corners in selling it to you.”

NEWSFLASH

I've actually just started watching Breaking Bad. Quite liking it and never knew cooking meth could be so glamorous! No spoilers please as I'm only on Season 1. I've also been preoccupied with Trueblood and I'm now nuts deep in Season 6 - it's loosing its allure a bit for me and I think they are struggling for story lines I feel. So... I'm signing off tonight as Netflix is calling me. Best fiver ever spent!!